Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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