I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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