Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
