I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Are we still banned from the library?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
