**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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