The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
