I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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