she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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