I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
