i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
