she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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