I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
