if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
only you would photoshop your dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
third nipple confirmed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
