My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
