You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
