Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
