was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
