Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
