why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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