if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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