I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
