On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
