Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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