He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
