I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
