Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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