Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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