i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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