oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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