Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she peed on how many people?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
