Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
