Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize