i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
