Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
