No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
