You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
