She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
