she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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