whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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