found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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