Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
