Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
