I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
