yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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