i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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