just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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