this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She told me I should be a condom model.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize