My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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