My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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