I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
