I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize