you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
