After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
