:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize