these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
