I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
