i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
