There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
