he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
