I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
