Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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