Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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