So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
